OK, Charger recons it’s too hard to find the super-dooper chain story link beacuse of all of the alien bullshit on the site. He’s kinda right, but also a bit shit at computers. Anyways, here it is, right at the top:

Click Here: SuperDooperChainStory

OK, CAD is back! I have spent hours deleting all of the alien bullshit. If anyone else feels the need to spam the site in the future we are personally going to track you down, rip off your heads, and shit down your necks. So basically don’t fucking do it!

*

Nothing too exotic about this one, but it’s my drink of the moment. It tastes fuckin’ good like!

Get a low-ball glass, add a few ice cubes, then a shot (or a bit more) or Barcardi rum, top up with coke, squeeze a decent wedge of lime into the drink, and then add the wedge.

*note the picture uses a high-ball glass, but that will give you too much coke and not enough of the good stuff (aka gay).

Usually I add some funny shit / history about the drink, but I can’t be bothered this time. All you need to know is that Bacardi was founded by facundro Bacardi Masso born in Catalonia, (Spain) in 1814. He emigrated to Cuba in 1830, and today the business (still family owned) sells more than 200 million bottle per year.

OK, don’t blame the messenger, but this has been requested. Seriously for anyone who hasn’t seen this, I can only recommend that you don’t.

Well, that’s the warning – proceed if must……

This is the “highlight” video (more like lowlight) – full video to follow.

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Beer, Women and Bad Decisions.
choose your own adventure style

http://www.idrink.com/bying/Red_Bull.htm

Did you know that Rupert the Bear episodes are on TV atm…..

Stupid Rupert…..

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Classic Postman Pat!

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Check this……Thanks PGC (Purple Car Girl) 

http://www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/

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updated in “Charger’s Gallery”

http://controlaltdelete.com.au/?page_id=22

Got any submissions? Add a comment and we will whack ‘em up.

A little boy comes into the kitchen one day & says to his mum “Granny’s got a prawn!”

The mother says “What on earth do you mean?”

The boy takes his mother & shows her Granny stark naked asleep on the sofa. He points to grandma’s protruding clitoris & says “Granny’s got a prawn!”

His mother whispers “That’s your grandmother’s clitoris son!”

To which the little boy replies…”Well it tastes like a prawn!”

Whats the difference between Jam and Marmalade?

You cant Marmalade your dick up some chicks ass.

Upload your own pictures here

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Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories
Part 1:

Part 2:

Went to the optometrist today. He told me I’m colour blind. Now I’m worried some of my mates could be Aboriginal. If you are, delete my number and fuck-off!

Q: What’s funnier than a dead Abo?

A: A dead Abo in a clown suit

Q: What do you call an Abo  driving off a cliff in a mini-van?

A: A waste, you could fit plenty more in the back

I was going through a couple of magazines the other day at the Aboriginal shelter. I was really enjoying myself until the weapon jammed.

Dear Oprah,

I’m fifteen, pregnant and my parents don’t know. They haven’t met my boyfriend. He’s bisexual, married and 20 years older than me. He deals drugs and carries a gun. He lives in a squa, is just out of jail and he likes animal porn. My problem is…how do I tell my parents he is aboriginal?

A black baby is given wings by God. He asks ‘God, does this mean I’m an angel?’ God laughs and replies ‘Of course not you silly black turd…..your a fly!’

Now that PM Kevin Rudd has said sorry to the Stolen Generation, the Aboriginal Union is holding a meeting tomorrow to decide whether to end their 220 year strike and return to work.

I saw a boat load of Aboriginal’s drowning today, so I thought I’d better do the right thing and notify emergency services. I hope they found them or I’ve just wasted a stamp!

An aboriginal kid comes home from school and tells his mum “Mum I’ve got the biggest penis in the 3rd grade, is that because im black?” She replies “No you Fuckwit, it’s because you’re 19.”

Buckle up! Today’s Abo jokes are:

(1) Q. What do you call 1000 Abo’s in a fast flowing river?

A. Blackcurrant.

(2) Q. Whats the difference between an Abo & a park bench?

A. A park bench can support a family.

(3) Q. Why are aspirins white?

A. Because they work.

(4) Q. What do you call a Abo with a stutter?

A. Cocoon.

(5) Q. What do you call a hundred black men in a field?

A. The good old days.

I just signed my dog up for Centrelink payments. He should be eligible. He’s black, lazy, can’t speak english and has no fucking idea who his father is!

I bought one of those new 3D TV’s, its so realistic. I dozed off last night watching a documentary about Aborigines and when I woke up, my wallet was gone.

I caught  this Abo trying to pick the boot lock on my car. So I slapped the cunt and said “don’t fucking do that! you’re in there for a fucking reason”.

On Sunday Robbie Kenevil will attempt to jump 1000 Abo’s with this D-9 cat. I have an extra ticket if you want to come?

90% of men will tell you that the birth of thier 1st child is the greatest thing to ever witness…..obviously they’ve never seen a coon get hit by a road train!

4 people on a train, an Australian bloke, an Abo, an old lady, and a very fit blonde with extraordinarily large tits. They go into a tunnel and hear a very loud slap! When they come out of the tunnel the Abo is rubbing his face. The old lady thinks, ‘I bet he tried touching that blonde and got slapped’. The blonde thinks, ‘I bet he tried touching me and got the old lady instead’. The Australian thinks, ‘I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that fucking Abo again’.

Just walked down the street and saw an Abo carrying a plasma TV. I thought ‘that looks like mine’. Then I remembered, mine was at home shining my shoes.

Alien’s appear to have attacked our website! We must destroy them at all costs. Have no mercy on the alien fools.

Check this puppy out!

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and then watch him fuck up…..

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this is a chain story,

i have been told to dumb it down for you hillbillies and let you know what a chain story is! well fuck i dont know myself, but here it is, ill start the story and you just add to it, bit by bit, line by line, chapter by chapter, until its done, then i print it all off, change the names to the real persons name not some psuedo fake bullshit to protect the innocent. then i publish it, sell a million copies and make a trillion dollars, give you all the finger and fuck off to live in mexico.

so here goes, like i said ill start it, you add a bit, the next dude or dudette adds a line or two, and bingo next thing you know Oprah wants it on her book club. well fuck her.

okay this is the start on the next bit, scroll down and read then add a comment which will be continuing the story.

okay story starts ………now

name: DEVIATION ROAD

Chapter 1 –

i woke up, my balls were aching, what was i thinking!

FEBRUARY 23, 1976, 30 years ago today. What was happening? Premier Rupert Hamer was introducing new random breath-testing laws. Bellbird, Take Kerr and Don Lane were on TV. And AC/DC took to the back of an old truck in Swanston Street to make Australian music history.

The occasion was the filming of the clip for It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock’n’Roll). It was a Monday morning in the midst of a heatwave. Work started at 6am and was finished by mid-afternoon, by which time a large crowd of onlookers had gathered.

Now, with the passing of the years, it has become a unique Melbourne time capsule, a piece of heritage, with fascinating views of the streets, buildings and passers-by. Quite apart from the song, and the spirited performance by the country’s best-loved and most successful rock band, the clip is a look back to a time long gone.

For one thing, Swanston was a Street back then, not a Walk. Green, wooden, W-class trams rattled through it, jostling with HQ Holdens. It was a simpler time, proved by the fact that the film’s makers, from the ABC’s Countdown, basically just turned up and got down to it.

“We told the council and the police,” said director Paul Drane. “But they didn’t seem to mind. There were no streets shut, there was no problem. It’s crazy, I know. These days it would take months to get through the red tape.”

A key part of the film is the bird’s-eye view over Swanston Street. Nothing was arranged, so on the day a cameraman simply walked into an office block near the Bourke Street corner, found the caretaker, and asked if he could use a high balcony. No worries. Up he went.

But this was rock’n’roll, this was AC/DC, so the best laid plans were sure to slip away. The band were supposed to turn up at 7am, frightfully early on a Monday morning for a mob renowned for hell-raising. But they didn’t show, so crew member Peter Murphy was sent to a “fleapit” pub near Spencer Street to wake them up.

The film clip was among the first in Australia to be made on location, away from the confines of the TV studio. Now, with AC/DC’s incredible longevity (130 million albums sold) it is one of the most played on television. They are also experiencing yet another renaissance thanks to deferential new bands such as Jet and Airbourne. In 2004, a city lane was renamed in their honour.

“Every time it’s on Rage,” says cameraman David Olney, “my daughter says ‘you should have got royalties for that, Dad.’ If I did, we’d be living it up in Las Vegas by now.” But because it was made for Countdown, the ABC owns the film clip.

The idea to do it in Swanston Street on the back of a truck — a blue ABC-owned flat-bed, in fact — was hatched by the late AC/DC singer Bon Scott and Countdown host Molly Meldrum. It was supposed to refer to the Moomba parade and was shot on three cameras between Bourke Street and Flinders Street. The budget, according to Drane, was $380. Three pipers from the Rats of Tobruk pipe band were hired for the song’s characteristic bagpipe solo.

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h there and welcome to control alt delete, its the new world of scotch driven cyber luvin for the 22nd centruy,
im not sure myself how this journey is going to go, or where it is going to take us, all i know is that it sholud be FUCKIN A with a capital A, and hopefully we dont end up in jail, being someones bitch.

so lets get drinkin and start bloggin