this is a chain story,
i have been told to dumb it down for you hillbillies and let you know what a chain story is! well fuck i dont know myself, but here it is, ill start the story and you just add to it, bit by bit, line by line, chapter by chapter, until its done, then i print it all off, change the names to the real persons name not some psuedo fake bullshit to protect the innocent. then i publish it, sell a million copies and make a trillion dollars, give you all the finger and fuck off to live in mexico.
so here goes, like i said ill start it, you add a bit, the next dude or dudette adds a line or two, and bingo next thing you know Oprah wants it on her book club. well fuck her.
okay this is the start on the next bit, scroll down and read then add a comment which will be continuing the story.
okay story starts ………now
name: DEVIATION ROAD
Chapter 1 –
i woke up, my balls were aching, what was i thinking!
Lynch Nigger
Dorkman
TSWR
Peter Burton
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by QueenVee
09 Apr 2010 at 20:32
Lying next to her, with my arm stuck underneath her pounds of flesh, I wondered how long it would take me to chew my arm off before I passed out.
by ulivergan
10 Apr 2010 at 09:07
As I slowly regain contentiousness I realise that the inconsistent rumble of her snoring is what woke me. Where am I? How did I get hear? More importantly how am I going to get out with waking the wilder-beast.
by Sandy Cheeks
10 Apr 2010 at 19:08
Realising I obviously got shit faced that night, my head aching with the thought of thinking of my where abouts. I reached down to scratch my balls, realising that my penis was missing again. “Damn detachable penis”……I said to myself. Looking round to see if I could find it, and oh my god, there it was.
by supercruiser
12 Apr 2010 at 10:09
Fortunately I thought if I get in here for a bit of spooning action the heffer might rollover and I could rescue my arm, and get the fuck out of here.. It was at this point that I realised my detachable penis was stuck fair and square up her…
by charger
13 Apr 2010 at 10:41
fat roll.
i reached around in the fat roll and found my penis. i pulled it out. i dry-reached from the stench , it was like a warm cheese smell. the suction noise too was like something from a B grade horror movie. i fumbled with my penis, managed to stick it back on with the one hand that wasnt being slowly amputated by the ugly horror that lay snoring on it.
i looked down at my newly re-attached penis and……HOLY SHIT, THIS IS NOT MY PENIS IT WAS A…………………
by ulivergan
13 Apr 2010 at 13:36
…well……bigger penis! Someone else’s penis. Could it be that another person had managed to loose his penis in the rolls? Looking at the gorilla-biscuit, the answer was clear…..easily. Now the question is do I continue hunting for my penis, or keep the new well-endowed model? Wait, the snoring has stopped, oh no….it’s moving.
by supercruiser
14 Apr 2010 at 07:53
Fuck me… I’d recognised that tattoo any where..
It was the Mega GG’s Slut Troll Wench… How did I end up with her in my bed..
I remember heading to Hahndorf for the GG’s reunion, I remember having a scotch, i remember….
by charger
14 Apr 2010 at 08:25
having tequila, i remember slamming beers.
HANG ON I REMEMBER THAT HOT LITTLE PIECE OF FLUFF I WAS ALL OVER. she was damn smoking, you feel the heat from her radiating like a combustion stove on a cold winters night.
i remeber things were going really well. id talk to her, she’d listen with attentive ears. id joke, she’d laugh. id gesture, she’d go along.
i thought i WAS IN.
the dirty dancing we were doing, the bumpin ‘ n grindin,
i remember her smiling that sneaky lustful smle, I WAS IN. what happened.
hmmm recall ‘where the fuck are you.
i remember i was at the bar, i reached out for my ‘cuba libre’ on the bar (see cocktails and debriefing section), ready for my night of passion with this hot hourglass figured vixen who fell from heaven.
i slammed it down my throat.
SHIT THAT AINT MY DRINK. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
everythings in a spin. peoples faces are morphing together.
the tast in my mouth.
AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH that tastes like………..
by tbag
14 Apr 2010 at 21:32
Southern Comfort! yechhhhhh. I think I’m going to chuck. My head is still spinning, shit….I can’t remember anything else! Back in the room. The GG’s slut troll had rolled towards me, her eyes began to open. arrhhhh….I yanked my arm from under her and made a bolt for the door……oh, hang-on I’m still fucked. I think I’m going spew. Oh, here it comes, {insert spew noise here}. Whoooo, I just spewed all over her
by charger
15 Apr 2010 at 18:30
as i wipe the chunky bits left on my chin with my arm, a look up at the wilderbeast. she is just frozen, with this look on her face simular to a zombie with the mouth open wide. bits of my vomit tricle down her face, rolling around her lips and into her mouth.
i cant help my self, i start to giggle, then more and more, until im pissing myself laughing at her.
oh well at least i dont have that much chunder on me.
she reaches her arm out far to the left, blindly grasping as anything in her path. i dont know wether she needs support to lift her massive fat frame up, or if shes looking for something to throw at me.
oh shit, what is that she has hold of.
FUCK its a house brick.
how or why the fuck does she have a house brick along side her bed.
perhaps it was there to weigh down the rope that i should have tied around my waste before i climbed on top of her.
maybe its part of her house that fell out of the wall while the chainsaw like snores echo from her bellowing fat lungs.
i pivot to turn and bolt out of this hell hole, when i spin and slip on ……..
by Sandy Cheeks
19 Apr 2010 at 19:55
my penis. “Thank god, I have my penis back”, I thought, although now I have 2 dicks. I guess 2 dicks is better than one.
The wilderbeast then looked at both my penis’s and smiled at me, with most of her teeth missing, and the remainder were black. Next minute the door opened, “holy shit”, it was a ……
by ulivergan
19 Apr 2010 at 20:51
male wilderbeast. Shit! I think it’s probably her boyfriend. I was just standing there, half dressed, spew dripping from my chin, a penis in one hand. He looked me up and down, and then looked at her, naked and covered in chunder. He had a kind of funny grin on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was angry or about to crack up laughing at my misfortune. This became immediately obvious when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a…..
by Sandy Cheeks
19 Apr 2010 at 21:05
gun, he waved it at me, then at the large hippo still lying on the bed. Then ‘BANG BANG’, he shot the fat cow. Then he looked at me with blood shot eye’s, obviously off his face, and said…….
by charger
19 Apr 2010 at 21:23
thanks mate!
i was still shaking, i could almost feel the shit running down my leg.
i opened my mouth but all that uttered out was ‘no probs’
the boyfriend explained the previous nights happening to me.
at first i couldnt belive it, but the mammoth dude with a smoking gun still in his hand, bee-lined past me, hell he even nudged me oput of the way heading to the fridge.
as he opened the door of the shitty old fridge, a couple of magnets slid down off its crusty surface. ‘oh shit’ i gagged as i realised it was a bit of skull and brain matter from the fat hippo he had just shot, sliding down the door and ‘plop’ onto the floor.
he handed me a beer, ‘FUCKIN A…..Corona!’ i thought.
i was about to ask him for a slice of lime, when he started rattling of this marvelous plan of his for the previous night.
he had been living in hell with the fat bitch. he hated her. but she had always threatened to take him to the cleaners if he ever left.
so he arranged for her to be at the club, picked out a handsome looking chump (that was me) to be the bait, and he spiked my drink.
he laid the cunning plan, and she fell for the bait.
fuck why wouldnt she, i was pretty damn good, even with chunks of last nights mexican on my chin, and on my shoes.
his plan was to bust in the door and shoot the bitch for cheating on him.
‘crime of passion’ he called it.
we parted company, but not after i got his number…..just incase i need some ‘cleaning up done’
i walked out the door, threw my empty corona bottle in the fat bitches garden and walked out the gate.
i looked left, i looked right, i looked left again and …………………
by QueenVee
21 Apr 2010 at 21:05
then I woke up…
by charger
21 Apr 2010 at 21:49
i looked around, i was in some strange town.
it looked a lot like the town those gay vampires lived in from the twilight series,
was this for real.
i hope i dont get attacked by gay vampires.
this hand came out of the shadows and grabbed my shouder.
‘fuck’ i tried to yelll but the other hand came around and grabbed my mouth.
and dragged me back into the shadows.
the person (or thing) spun me around.
oh its….
by QueenVee
22 Apr 2010 at 21:14
my mate Robot, trying to freak me out as usual.
“Hey Robot” I said, “What are you doing here?”
“Shhhhhh!!” He hissed. “Don’t you remember why we’re here?”
“Nah man,” I replied, “I just had the weirdest dream about some whale woman, a gun and some projectile chunder…”
“Never mind that,’ Robot interrupted, “We have work to do”
Then Robot handed me a……
by ulivergan
22 Apr 2010 at 21:30
Sidchrome spanner! “What the fuck am I meant to do with this Robot?”, I said. “Are you broken?”. Robot replied….
by charger
22 Apr 2010 at 21:33
a wooden stake.
i suppose this was to kill the gay twilight vampires with.
i wasnt so sure.
i asked robot, ‘hey robot, im not so sure about this, is this piddly wooden stake really going to kill a vampire’.
robot just looked at me blankly, which is the way robots look at you anyway.
‘its not just any vampires we’ll be a killing tonight’ he said in his stoopidest robot voice.
‘were hunting GAY vampires’ he exclamied.
these wooden stakes you hold in your hand are specially dipped in special sauce. ANTI GAY SAUCE.
its a special mix of V8 used motor oil, coopers pale ale, and gun oil, wiped on with a genuine flannelette shirt which was once worn by a real live bogan. the ritual involved in this is to be done once a year during the almighty BATHURST 1000 V8 super car race.
it seems the GAYNESS in these GAY vampires reacts to all things manly and cool. so once struck with one of these stakes, the gay vampires combust and burst into flames.
FUCK i said semi loudly. i was wondering why my mates would sit around watching bathurst every year oiling up the shafts of the wood they held between their legs, occasionally dripping PALE ALE onto the pre-rubbed shaft. wearing nothing but flannelette.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE ROBOT i yelled.
robot again looked at me with that blank look again.
FUCK IM GOING TO HAVE TO INVENT SOME EMOTIONS FOR THIS FUCKER, HE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF EVERYTIME HE STARES AT ME.
there is a loud screech, not a cool screech of smoking car tyres, but a more girly like squeal. oh fuck its a ……………
by charger
22 Apr 2010 at 21:35
another sidchrome spanner.
DUMB ASS MOTHER FUCKING ROBOT,
not only is he blankly staring at me again,
hes handing me the spanner, like deja-vu, or something, almost like he was reading this script and someone quickly added a sentence without the other guy knowing.
DUMB FUCKING, BLANKY STARING ROBOT,
i gave him a quick slap in the face,
and suddenly………………………….
by ulivergan
22 Apr 2010 at 22:09
sparks spat out of his ears! His head did two full rotations whilst an array of more stupid robot sounds omitted from his on-board made in Taiwan speaker system, or robot voice-box if you like. His Commodore-64 CPU brain had blown a sand-shoe. What with my slap to his face, and the confusion between wooden gay vampire killing stakes and dual Sidchrome Spanners, both 1/2 inch – he had flipped! His calm light-blue LED eyes, had faded to a lighter shade of pale. As the lights went out on robot, he buzzed out a dying deceleration. This is what he said….
by charger
22 Apr 2010 at 22:25
bzzzzzzz phffffffffttttttt beep beep bzzzzzzz dedo dedo phrarp
‘WHAT THE FUCK’ i said,
i slapped him again
his LED eyes flickered.
he reached up and touched the side of my face, his cold steel hand spooning my cheek.
he sputtered in a dying robot sort of voice, and his dying words were.
im sorry , my friend, my only programimg was to be here for you and guide you through your life.
for the rest of earths life (which is not too long) you will be needing specialised instructions so you do not perish in the hands of evil. i need to give you these instructions.
‘WHAT INSTRUCTIONS’ i stammered
the instructions are……….
the instructions are……….
the instructions are……….
the instructions are……….
the instructions are……….
‘FUCK’ i yelled as i bitch slapped him again in the head.
his LED eyes flickered once more.
the instructions are……….on a special usb drive which i need to insert in a specail slot pre-placed in your body.
with this a probe like device slowly ‘erected’ from my robot friend.
‘ARE YOU SERIOUS’ i gasped
i looked at his blank robot emotion-less face.
hang on theres something different about his face, he is smiling.
‘FUCK NO he isnt smiling, he is grinning.
FUCKIN GAY ROBOT i said as i bitch slapped him harder, his erectional probe was at full mast.
i threw his gay steel hand of my face as he was rubbing my cheek.
i bet those gay vampires had something to do with this, i looked at his steel robot neck, there were two puncture marks in his neck.
his LED eyes grew brighter and brighter. he opened his robot mouth and fuck my dead if im lying, he had robot vampire fangs.
i grabbed a wooden ANTI GAY VAMPIRE WOODEN STAKE and drove it in his heart.
he bleeped and bleeped again.
his eyes dulled to nothing, as he lay there motionless.
he was dead…….
i knelt up from my once straight robot friends lifeless carcass and……….
by ulivergan
23 Apr 2010 at 19:36
pondered for a moment. It reminded me of when I was late for work one time and my car battery was dead. It has that same “no-life” kind of feeling about it. Although that was fixed by a simple jump-start, I don’t think a jump-start is going to save my friend, robot.
I started to look around to see if I could find something to dig a grave for him. I quickly come to my senses – holy shit! I was in a forest overlooking a town with gay vampires! Fuck Robot, I need to get the hell out of here! Where do I go? Do I run or do I fight?
I pondered once again…two ponderings in as many paragraphs…nice. Fuck the vampires, they killed Robot. Well technically I did, but they started it by turning him blanky and gay. Well maybe he was always a bit blanky, but whatever. I need to find a vampire killer, preferably a hot one like on TV. I started my decent down the hill towards the town.
by Sandy Cheeks
24 Apr 2010 at 15:20
Then I saw a light, a burning light, there was a fire. People laughing and cracking jokes. I walked through the bushes to see what was going on. There were 20, maybe 30 gay vampires, standing around the fire drinking VB…… ” What the fuck!!!!” I said to myself. Then, they saw me, I didnt know whether to run and hide, or greet them with my niceness.
Then one called out “hey you, join us, come have a beer”.
“Sensational” I said.
I walk towards them, wishing I had brought my butt plug for safe measures.
They handed me a VB and………
by supercruiser
28 Apr 2010 at 23:09
All I could do was pull out my second cock.. If that wasnt a fucking distraction then nothing was going to save this day… Lets face it I wsa pretty much ready to take on the whole fucking team as apposed to drinking one horrid fucking VB… Weren’t these fuckers meant to be drinking San Maguel’s…
It was at this stage I figured if I could somehow adapt my second cock, who I was refering too as “two dogs” to keep some relationship between my actual cock and my detachable cock, as some sorta of Buffy the VB Gay Vampire Slaying device.
I grabbed the VB, took a massive swig, threw the bottle over my shoulder, spun, and sparked my cunning plan. Hidden from the gays i flicked out several match sticks from my box of matches, rammed them down the hole in “two dogs” so they protruded nicely and then….
by charger
30 Apr 2010 at 21:31
laid my cunning plan into action,
i spun back around to face the GAY vampires, i spun so quickly and then froze so fast, the vampires all stood there with their fangy mouths open.
im standing there, in my prime, with dribbles of horrid green death (VB) trickling down my stubbly chin.
all the sudden i slowly started to rub ‘two dogs’.
the vampires gazes all went to my crotch were it appeared that i had my slug out and was wanking off to them.
being gay vampires they all started getting a bit horny.
they didnt want to bite and kill me, they want some cock action.
i pumped and pumped, harder and harder.
i could feel the pressure in ‘two dogs’ building up.
was this plan going to work.
the friction was intense, ‘two dogs’ started to smoke from the heat, i pulled one hand off, and motioned the closest gay vampire to hand me another VB, which he did with a sparkle in his walking dead eye.
i bit the top off and spat it out and slowly drenced the smoking second cock of mine with ice cold VB.
the gay vampires couldnt help it, they were licking their lips, some ventured closer.
will my plans work, i wondered.
they were closer and closer inching towards my pumped and primed smoking hot cock, the stuffed matchstick couldnt hold much longer, and i needed all the vampires close to my cock if this was going to work.
i motioned the last of the vampires closer.
the closest of the vampires was flicking his tounge about an inch from my cock.
the pressure was there, the vampires were there, and then…………….
by ulivergan
30 Apr 2010 at 21:54
whooooooshhh! The the ‘two dogs’ exploded into a wrath of flames and fire. Well that is what is initially seemed like. However now looking back at the situation, I am not really sure what I had expected from a rubber cock and half a dozen matches.
Phhhhssssttt was the next noise as the ‘two dogs’ fizzled out. The gay vampires seemed confused, and the closest one appeared to have a bit of matchstick in is eye. Without thinking I grabbed the almost full green death VB from his hand as he frantically tried to get the matchstick from his eye.
Whaccccck! I smashed the VB can into his ugly fuck gay vampire skull, which lay him out lick a sack of shit. Wow, I though VB was only ever good for bringing to parties as a gesture, so you could drink other peoples real beer. It actually has a purpose – gay vampire killer!
Now the confused looking gay vampires were starting to work out what was going on. They started to move closer to me, and….oh, no, fuck….they are undoing their belts.
by charger
30 Apr 2010 at 22:02
i looked over to the vampires eskies,
fuck they are full of VBs.
but how can i get to them, there
must be 15 or 20 of these gay arse pupming weirdos between me and some decent ammo i can use against them.
my mind wondered a bit, reminising about all those parties i had been to where we took the VB and drank the coopers, the west end, and hell even the cheap tooheys we bought was better than that green VB shit.
‘boing’ boing’ ‘boing’ was the sound that brought me back the the situation at hand (bad pun)
it was the sound of gay vampire stiffies being released from their undies
BOING went the next one.
im fucked i thought and literally too.
i hope the use some KY was my only other thought before i almost fainted at the thought of being a VAMPIRE SPIT ROAST.
then ‘WHACK’ ‘SMACK’ ‘KA-POW’
it was……
by ulivergan
30 Apr 2010 at 22:17
Aruban Bobby Farrell from Boney M! Fuck, where did he come from? And why is he fighting the gay vampires? I always though Boney M was the gayest band ever, but fuck I could be wrong!
Bobby was knocking out vampires with cans of VB quicker than I could think whether the chicks from Boney M were hot or not. (cause they could be here too). Wow this is fucking weird.
Just then Bobby flicked across the fire two VB cans, which I easily caught in both hands. By the rivers of fucking babylon I need to wipe these MO-FO gay vampire fuck out.
I lined up one that was approaching me, and took a big wind up with both cans, and then Bobby shouted out, Wait!……
by supercruiser
30 Apr 2010 at 22:56
“Wait…. You can’t kill those fuckers with out a disco move. ”
Bobby pulled out the biggest getto blaster ever seen from outa no where and implemented a viscious VB manouver, and if gay bag vampires could scream it would have drowned out by “Daddy Cool” and Bobby’s high speed gay vampire killing moves. He moved so fast his safari suit seemed to be smoking, especially around the crutch area. It really started smoking and shit…
Bobby finished off the vamps in a whirl of smoke and breakdancing insanity, and instantly started spraying his crutch with VB to put out his smokin crotch..
He was then forced to remove his safari daks, which at the time seemed like a good idea. Until the vamps copped a view of his massive black cock.
Now a serious fucking frenzy ensued.
“Daddy Cool” was comin to an end. Hopefully Bobby had…
by Sandy Cheeks
02 May 2010 at 11:58
rang his mum, and told her we would be late for dinner. Oh Bobby’s mum was so hot, I’ve so wanted to……..
by charger
02 May 2010 at 12:16
taste her beef marsala,
i remember reading how bobbys mum made the best beef marsala, and i could just taste it now.
before any of you fuckers pretend to dis this into some metophore for her pussy, IT IS NOT.
beef marsala rocks, and bobbys mum makes the best.
and im sure she’d finish it off with a smokin lemon merange pie.mmmmmmm my muoth was watering at the thought.
oh shit
thats right
ITS GAY MO-FO VAMPIRE KILLING TIME
by the time i had re-gained my thoughts )from beef marsala and the possibility that the hotties from BONEY M may still be here soon to help bobby) all that was left around me was settling dust and……..
by ulivergan
03 May 2010 at 20:00
knocked out gay MO-FO vampires. It appeared that Bobby had hit rewind on the getto blaster back the the Daddy Cool chorus and had performed a disco inferno whirlwind.
Even Bobby looked surprised looking at the sprawled out gay vamps. As Bobby disco’d out, his snake like cock had smashed all of the gay vampires.
Awesome Bobby! We didn’t even need the kinda hot chicks from your band to help! (who by the way are still around somewhere; and for the record haven’t aged a day since 1972 – but they have shaved their big furry beavers – OK!).
As Bobby tucked his massive cock back into his overly tight safari slacks, and the getto blaster chilled into one of his softer songs, he turned to me and said, “Boy…..
by God
03 May 2010 at 20:23
Aruban Bobby “Daddy Cool” Farrell
by Sandy Cheeks
05 May 2010 at 17:29
You have a fine ass….” I was worried! “Lets get the fuck out of here”, I said, as I took off down the hill.
My whereabouts was unknown, my life seemed to be out of control, I felt as though I was going crazy, but all of a sudden……..
by charger
05 May 2010 at 17:48
FUCK
i stubbed my toe,
shit i hate it when that happens.
stoopid fucking clumsy feet.
all of the sudden……………
by supercruiser
05 May 2010 at 18:25
I could hear the dulset sounds. I wasn’t sure whether it was the whir of the supercharger or the tubthumpin sounds of “Daisy”. She was pretty much like the general lee but way cuter. And scream. Did she scream. I could hear the sound of those stromburg’s a mile away.
Things were looking up. Going from poon bag gay bag vampires to my hot chick, in my even hotter car. Through the noise and dusty hand brakey I saw Susie (my ggffg) and….
by ulivergan
05 May 2010 at 18:37
Fuck! Bobby was behind the wheel! I so thought we had lost him a couple of paragraphs ago, but the fucker was back! I could see his big black afro protruding from the sunroof.
Susie was in the passenger seat, and no…she was gone again. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? Her head kept bobbing up and down from my view. As Daisy screamed closer to me I got a clearer view. It was almost like Susie was…
by charger
05 May 2010 at 18:49
a human pogo stick, she was bouncing her head up and down on bobbys lap like there was no tomorrow,
that wasnt the screaming whine of the strombergs i could here,
it was suzie sucking harder than a hoover.
the bitch could suck chrome off a tow ball, and that was when she was with me, but now she was boobing on bobby so fast she was a blur.
i didnt know yet if this sight would effect me too much as i didnt know quite what a ggffg was, but im sure it will come to me in the next paragraph or two and my feelings will be clearer.
daisy the car skiided sideways to a halt about 30cm away from me.
bobby just sittin at the wheel with a smile on his dial.
suzie stopped bobbin on bobby, looked up and smiled.
i said, bobby you were just with me coming down this hill when i stubbed my toe,
now your in my car and my suzie is going at it hell for leather on your knob.
WTF……
bobby smiled wider and said…………………..
by ulivergan
05 May 2010 at 18:58
maybe I didn’t read the script correctly, because I thought I had been left behind at the campfire – but looking back now, it’s debatable. And then Bobby said:
“whhhhooooooo, suuuuziiiiee, bob bob bob, bobbin on bobby, yeaahhhhhhh”
Shit, Bobby had come up with a disco classic about him getting a gobby from my girlfriend. Whilst I was sightly pissed, I was also slightly impressed. The man has style, oh, and a massive cock.
Bobby said “no hard feeling’s hey? let the love roll free…..Jump in and let’s get fuck outa dodge boy”
by Sandy Cheeks
05 May 2010 at 19:00
“you wanna go wit me baby.”…. as he rubbed his finger over his left nipple, exposing his extremly hairy chest. I replied with…..
by ulivergan
05 May 2010 at 19:07
“Bobby! Stop Fucking Singing about my Girlfriend”
by charger
05 May 2010 at 19:19
or at least include me in the lyrics.
anyway,
i jumped in the other side and was confronted with suzies wet, tight, hot…………………………
by charger
05 May 2010 at 19:20
water bottle,
she leaves it every where, i sat on it without realising and
POP out burst a shitload of hot steamy ………….
by charger
05 May 2010 at 19:22
beef marsala sauce.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON
is suzie and bobbys mum been cooking together,
why was bobby here, and why was suzie going down on him.
why does her ass look so good from behind when she wears denim shorts.
why was GAY VB DRINKIN VAMPIRES taking over
and where were the could be hot chicks from bONEY M
hmmmmm………..
by God
05 May 2010 at 19:38
“I pity the fool who has 3 turns at the chain-story all at once! Shape up boy!”
by charger
05 May 2010 at 19:48
sorry god, but fuck you, i can rely on these asses to not fuck up where im going with this.
by God
05 May 2010 at 19:53
“Fool! You fail to understand how a chain-story works boy!”
“Now, stop your Jibba-Jabba, and let’s get on with the story”
“and, no fool, It’s not your turn!”
by RAINBOWSDONTMEANSHIT
06 May 2010 at 18:52
And why cant i stop thinking about Gay blood sucka’s and Boning “M”? Does this mean somewhere deep inside i am a total gaylord or just gaggin for a little cock ? Mmmm i wonder ? anyway as i was thinking about mangravy for the billionth time today a….
by Sandy Cheeks
06 May 2010 at 20:33
shadow in the not to far distance caught my eye, I tried to focus my eye’s to whoever or whatever it was. And then, there she was. She was ……..
by RAINBOWSDONTMEANSHIT
06 May 2010 at 20:44
WaWa the ladyboy and wow she/he looked awesome, WaWa looked toward me and motioned for me to come closer but i had to resist as last time we met something terrible happened, we…………
by charger
06 May 2010 at 20:47
touched stiffies……….
by Sandy Cheeks
06 May 2010 at 20:53
jerk offs……
by ulivergan
07 May 2010 at 18:42
You see I had met WaWa on a recent trip to Thailand. We had hooked up in bar, I had a few too many Margaritas and swore WaWa was female. Anyway, one thing led to another, and well……..
Vroooommm, Bobby hammered the accelerator and Daisy roared in to action. Bobby was driving straight at WaWa! Bam! Squisssh. WaWa was now splattered all over the front of Daisy’s windscreen.
“Whooo Bobby!”, I said. What the fuck did you do that for? Bobby replied….
by RAINBOWSDONTMEANSHIT
08 May 2010 at 18:59
Because ive always been super gay for you , if i was any gayer would be a friggin unicorn. So i thought if i rammed WaWa with my WooWoo i could have You you big boy………….
by Sandy Cheeks
10 May 2010 at 19:17
homosexual mother fucker. Now lets get naked and jiggy jig. As Bobby started to undress I then…..
by ulivergan
10 May 2010 at 22:46
thought to myself, am I the only mother fucker in this story that isn’t gay?
Bobby was undoing the buttons on his sequin safari shirt – I was scared, really scared.
Bobby must have seen the fear in my eyes, he said “fuck, boy! I’m just a messin’ with choo. You really thing I’m gay? Fuck, I’ve banged those hot chicks from my band (which are still missing), more times than you have had hot dinners! Fuck, I just got me some cock-smokin’ action from your girl”.
Yeah, Bobby WASN’T GAY. It just come to me. He rocks, and I think I am going to hang out with him for a while, in a completely non-gay way.
Bobby said “Boy, go wipe WaWa of the windscreen so we can see where the fuck we are going. We need to get to my underground ‘gay vampire proof’ disco love bunker.
Awesome, I thought. I jumped out of the car and started to wipe WaWa’s remains from the windscreen……
by Sandy Cheeks
14 May 2010 at 09:44
Then Bobby started the motor, aahhhh, the sweet sound of a V8, reminds me of James Courtney, even though I hate fords, gotta love the guy……sooooo hot…… aahhhhh James…….. hang on, sorry guys,… back to he story.
Bobby smoked it up and took off to our next destination, which was…..
by ulivergan
14 May 2010 at 17:24
hopefully…..the underground ‘gay vampire proof’ disco love bunker???
by Sandy Cheeks
14 May 2010 at 21:38
although i knew I must be dreaming again!!!!!!!!!
by ulivergan
27 May 2010 at 20:29
I awoke. Bobby was tapping me on the shoulder. “Dude, we are here”.
“What! Where are we?” I Said. “My Disco love bunker, stupid. I already told you were we were going! Man, you are dumb boy”, Bobby replied.
I guess I had just expected to wake up in some other strange homosexual orientated land. Anyways, I didn’t so get over it.
I followed Bobby and Suzie (who were holding hands, oh and now butt cheeks…gggrrrrrrh) into the love bunker. It was dark and kinda cold. We walked deeper and deeper into the cave for what seemed like forever until a light was visible in the distance. As we got closer I could hear music……disco music!
As we entered the heart of the disco love bunker I couldn’t believe my eyes…there, right in front of me on a giant disco stage was…..
by Sandy Cheeks
29 May 2010 at 13:33
breakdancing bundy bears. “What the fuck?” I said to myself. I so needed a drink, or many. I walked up to the bar and ordered a …….
by ulivergan
30 May 2010 at 19:10
cosmopolitan….Just Joking, no I fucking didn’t.
“Three tequila shots thanks love” I said. (2 for me, 1 for Bobby and fuck Suzie, cause she’s a bitch). Sluushh, Sluushh, aahhhhh, Tequila!
Well, this was more like it, Tequila, disco tunes, dancing Bundy bears, oh and was that cage dancers I could see on stage as well? Awesome.
Right then Bobby produced a gigantic spliff from his top pocket. “Care to join me?” he asked.
by Sandy Cheeks
31 May 2010 at 17:55
“Don’t mind if I do”. I replied, We walked over to the corner, there were some vacant chairs, we sat, and smoked up. Before I knew it, I was high as a kite. I was hungry, So I rang for a pizza, thought Id try this new one, it had everything, including beetroot……. Yuuuuummoooo……
by ulivergan
31 May 2010 at 20:53
It was kinda cool that Bobby had his own pizza delivery service in his underground disco love bunker! Maybe I should ring them back and order double beetroot….oh, and maybe some beetroot bread.
Fuck, I was wasted…..Maybe I need some more Tequila shots, that should help…..
by charger
01 Jun 2010 at 17:07
mmmm my mouth was watering from the thought of beetroot pizza, then i looked around and saw suzie sitting on the couch over from me, she was all alone.
i thought of how sexy she looked with those denim shorts, and how great she looked without bobby’s knob slammed into her mouth……
hang on, where is that sly disco stud muffin. i got up and said to the sexy bar bitch ‘ two more tequilas please’
i slammed those suckers down and asked where bobby was.
oh she replied i think hes down the corridoor, testing out his new ‘fuckari’ rug.
hes been waiting for that rug to come special delivery, and it took him ages to find a brown and white one.
sweet i thought, i love those rugs, i better go and have a look.
i snuck down the corridor where i saw a funny shape, was it bobby?
i was when i got closer and found a light switch cord dangling from the ceiling, i pulled on the cord and…………………
by charger
01 Jun 2010 at 17:35
by God
02 Jun 2010 at 19:56
No way ImageShack fools! You Sucka’s are gonna pay!
by God
02 Jun 2010 at 20:13
Charger, you are a scary boy!
by Sandy Cheeks
02 Jun 2010 at 21:22
turned the light back off again, Bobby looked to be enjoying himself way to much, you sick mother, that is wrong. Anyways, I took Suzie back out, got onto the floor and started dancing wit the bundy bears. Suzie then leaned to me and said…..
by ulivergan
02 Jun 2010 at 21:34
“I would love to go down on one, or both of those bears, would you mind?”
by Sandy Cheeks
02 Jun 2010 at 21:35
” Not at all Suz”. Seconds went by, turning into minutes, then she was up, white fur caught in between her teeth. This was not the kind of love bunker I was after. I so need a different storyline in my life. Then swoooosh…….
by ulivergan
02 Jun 2010 at 21:42
Bobby picked me up in one arm and started running, running fast!
“Whhooo Bobby, what the fuck’s going on now?” I said.
“The love bunker has been breached by the gay-vamps”, Bobby replied. “Some fucking robot fuck let them to us”.
Wow, I though….could it be my mate robot? I though that fucker was dead? Man this is getting super weird. Luckily I am way wasted, and have just downed half a dozen tequila shots.
by Sandy Cheeks
02 Jun 2010 at 21:55
ok not the change of storyline I was thinking.
I was mistaken, I was so wasted I thought I was seeing gay-vamps, but it was Vin Diesel and a hole lot of other really sexy, hot, buff men. . Wow, must have been the special mushy’s Bobby added to the pizza.
by charger
02 Jun 2010 at 22:57
the room started spinning, faster and faster,
there was a funny taste in my mouth,
damn how did bobby get his cock in my mouth…………
no its beetroot, and mushrooms from the pizza,
and a bucket of tequila,
oh shit im gonna spew,
i look around in this daze for somewhere to chuck during this spin,
id hate to spew on bobby’s cool disco thread,
he looks so good…..
here it comes…………………….
by ulivergan
05 Jun 2010 at 20:41
bbuurrrrhhhhhhhhh (or whatever sound Barney from the Simpson’s makes – try to visualize that). My projectile vomit hit Vin Diesel right in the head….mmmmmm, he’s not look so hot now.
Bobby stopped for a second, and wiped the dribble from my chin. Wow, Bobby is a really handy dude to have around.
urggg, I’m not feeling so good, Tequila, special mushrooms on the pizza, and Bobby’s super green….
Bobby started running again. I was still tucked under his arm. But, shit, now we had gay vamps chasing us, and a fucked of Vin Diesel, and the cast of Manpower….fuck, I hope Bobby can run as fast as he can fuck….
by Sandy Cheeks
15 Jun 2010 at 18:03
then Bobby pulled out a can of Red Bull and sculled it down. “Red Bull gives you wings” he said, then something strange happened, stranger than this chain story, which isnt bloody hard. WAIT!!!!!!!!!
by charger
15 Jun 2010 at 19:14
i looked around at bobbys back, expecting to see the most impressive, angelic like set of wings to sprout out of his man-back.
i was waiting and waiting for the moment to see them sprout.
all the sudden….
“what the fuck you doin stoopid” bobby yelled at me, “are you waiting for real wings to actually sprout out of my fucken back, you are retarded, or stoned”
i thought hang on this is my fucken dream (or is it)
so why is this studdly disco biscuit dissen on me.
“no dumb ass, wings mother fucker, wings”
out of nowhere bobby pulled out an original BEN LEXEN SKATE WING.
where the fuck did he get one of those ( must have got it out of dans shed)
they are seriously rare, as they were seriously gay in their time,
anyway bobby was still running with me under one arm, the BEN LEXEN SKATE WING under the other, he positioned his arm under my balls, like a bowling ball, i actually felt penetration there for a bit,
and hoisted me up into the air, and when i landed i was on bobbys shoulders and he was on the skate wing.
FUCK THIS DUDE IS GOOD
by ulivergan
21 Jun 2010 at 19:06
We were getting faster and faster, but we weren’t taking off. Man, the skatewing was as shit as I had always though it was. I was hoping Bobby might be able to work some of his magic with it, but fuck who was I kidding. This thing was lucky to jump 15cm of the ground, not fly with two fully grown adults on it!
I looked down at Bobby, who had produced a Burrito from his top pocket and was stuffing it down his gob. “Fuck Bobby, this is not time for snacks”, I said. He didn’t say anything. Then Bobby pulled out a lighter from his back pocket, and held it behind his arse. “Watch fucking this” he said as he lit the flame……..
by RAINBOWSDONTMEANSHIT
21 Jun 2010 at 19:28
Well the the good thing about this is the fact that your ball sack is around my neck and quite warm and comforting, however the fact that we are riding a fucking skatewing is quite off putting and fucking disturbing, Hey get me some fucking rollerblades assmaster then i will be even gayer Asshat…shit youse dudes have some latent homo erotic issues happening wild wild issues so stop the gayness and get with the program..Sheesh super duperchain story or is it super duper Butt monkey conections thread ??? anyway ” Heycharger youve got a pm ”
by charger
21 Jun 2010 at 20:34
these were some of the thougths rushing through my mind as the burrito fueled flame started to really sizzle.
it was like my life was flashing before my eyes, or maybe i was still a bit dizzy from when bobby fingered me like a bowling ball to lift me on his shoulders,
or was it the weed, tequila or the mushies.
who knows, but these flash backs were vivid, being narrated by some
hunky blonde scandanavian type dude,
this euro trash’s voice echoeing around my skull, dissin me and my mates.
BANG FIZZLE FART WHOSH
the second stage thrusters of bobbys burrito banger had lit up,
and fuck are we actually taking offf……….
by Sandy Cheeks
26 Jun 2010 at 18:08
off, off and away. Soon we were flying wit Virgins. ( Im talking about planes you guys). They flew up close to the front of the plane, thought they’d give the pilot a brown eye. As they got closer, Bobby yelled out ” Hey Cockmaster”!!, he pulled his pants down, and flashed his arse. ( use imagination, they are up in the air, on a tiny board, this can not be done.)
Anyways, Bobby liked the feeling of the air blowing through his arse hair, he thought he’s wip his pants off, then…..
by ulivergan
27 Jun 2010 at 19:18
One of the Virgin stewardesses (again, the company, not “virgin” in the biblical way, hell she’s a stewardess – what could be further that virgin?), opened the plane’s side door and scooped Bobby and I up with a big kick-ass net!
Fuck, I didn’t think planes could open their doors at 30,00 feet, something to do with cabin pressure, or some shit I was meant to be learning in science class when we were seeing who could make the biggest flame ball with the bunsen burner.
Anyways, whooooosh, Bobby and I were now on a Airbus-300! I looked up at the stewardesses and caught her name tag….”Crystal”. Awesome, I thought. As Crystal closed the door I gathered myself and had a look around, holly fuck…..
by God
23 Jul 2010 at 20:58
I pity the fools who let the chain story go stale! Lemme lay down the rules of this establishment – post to the da chain story fools!
by Sandy Cheeks
30 Jul 2010 at 22:20
I have no pants on. My donga was just there, for all eyes to see. Crystal looked at me and said in a sexy voice………
by ulivergan
30 Jul 2010 at 22:35
oh my! what a huge……
by Sandy Cheeks
30 Jul 2010 at 22:44
hanging seatbelt you have, she reached down to grab the seatbelt to tighten it, but she accidently grabbed my pubes…….. She pulled hard, my eyes watered from the pain. So I reached over and grabbed her……….
by ESL
02 Sep 2010 at 16:23
I am new to this forum, My name is Christoper Xiao and I am now in Norway. Have you known of any resource that is similar to this ESL instructional site. I have no budget whatsoever, so let me have more information on any such free directories. Hope to hear from you.
by ESL
02 Sep 2010 at 17:13
I am new to this forum, I am Damien Aw and I am now in Austin, Texas. I hope someone has seen any site that is a resemblance of this ESL learning site. I have no money to spend on essays, appreciate if you let me have the link to any such free directories. Hope to hear from you.
by God
20 Sep 2010 at 20:35
Mother Fucker Alien Fools! I’m gunna rip off ya dorky alien heads and shit down ya neaks. Come on fools, the mother fucker aliens are doin’ more postin’ than the real niggas!
by ulivergan
20 Sep 2010 at 20:41
….tray of mini-scotches and other such beverages. Crystal seemed impressed that I was more interested in having a drink, that worrying about her grabbing my pubes.
“Oh, I’m so sorry sir”, she said. “don’t worry about it love, just keep the drinks flowing and we wont have a problem”, I replied. Crystal just smiled and then wispered in my ear…….
by ÿþc
25 Jan 2011 at 07:27
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by Jc Litton
23 Apr 2011 at 21:16
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by charger
22 Jun 2011 at 22:15
‘where did all these fucking aliens come from’
i looked at crystal, had another swig from the mini bar mini bottle, wiped my chin and said
‘dont worry crystal….these aliens are all……..
by ulivergan
29 Jun 2011 at 21:13
….semi-retardted homosexuals’. Crystal replied ‘wow! I guessed they were semi-retarted, but didn’t know they were homsexuals’. She then paused for a few seconds, and then asked me, ‘what’s a homesexual anyway?’. Fuck me, I thought, Crystal is dumb as. I replied ‘…..
by supercruiser
29 Jun 2011 at 21:39
Homosexuals. We’ll they are the same as Lesbians. You know. Surely you must wonder what it’s like to touch up another woman. What do you think about when I mention big nipples Crystal??
by God
29 Jun 2011 at 21:57
‘big nipples!’ Crystal shouted. ‘Porsche from first class has the biggest nipples! oh, and Roxy’s from ecconomy are pretty big as well. oh, oh, and Cherry the pilot’s assistant has the biggest nipple’s ever!’. Well I thought, Crystal definitely knows what a lesbian is. Then I thought….what is this? fucking stripper airways? Then I thought some more, what the fuck is a pilot’s assistant? Ah, fuck it, I’ll ask Crystal….’Crystal, what exactly does Cherry, the pilot’s assistant do in her job role?’. Crystal replied……
by charger
15 Jul 2013 at 19:16
well this is the new ‘airbus 300′ made by boeing. in this new version the pilot needs a ‘portal’ to stick his joystick to control the plane.
the ‘pilots assistant’ simply sits in the middle of the control room like shes riding a modern motorbike. and with her pert ass in the air the ‘pilot’ pilots his cock from behind DEEEEEP inside her.
the pilot can control the plane from left to right, up and down, all from his hard throbbing cock.
this leaves his hands completely free to do other things, like SUDUKO or speading cream cheese on his crackers, or even the old fashoined ‘slap the stewardess on the ass as she walks past.
WELL FUCK ME i thought, i sort of always wanted to be a pilot.
i was dreamin this ideal dream of having 400 tonnes of plane all controlled by the throbbings in my cock……
when …………………….
by ulivergan
22 Jul 2013 at 19:17
I thought……hang on, Boeing don’t make the Airbus 300! And it’s definitely not ‘new’, unless this story is set in 1972 (which it well could be due to Bobby Farrell from Boney-M still being cool).
How could I know so much about cars, and so fuck-all about aeroplanes I thought to myself?
“hey boy” said Bobby as he wondered done the aisle with an additional tray of mini-scotches carefully balanced on one hand.
“What’s up with…..”
by charger
22 Jul 2013 at 19:37
……..cherry’s fine ass? bobby says pointing at her hole with the one free hand he had, not holding the scotch tray up.
i spun back to have a look and couldnt believe my eyes.
the captain had stuck his pencil firmly into cherry’s once pert ass.
and air was wooooooshing out.
cherry was defalting, the pilots cock was quivering, trying to control the plane.
‘WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE’ we screamed at the pilot.
he sobbed back something about fucking up the easy level SUDUKO he was doing and he got the shits and stabbed the nearest thing to him…… cherries ass.
the plane was going down faster than a …………..
by ulivergan
22 Jul 2013 at 19:43
a plane, when it’s crashing. I couldn’t believe it, all the super-hot stewardesses were silicon!
I knew virgin were cutting costs, but this is ridiculous.
OK, what to do…..there is only one way to control the plane (as explained earlier), and I wasn’t going there.
Suddenly Bobby came up with an idea. “Why don’t we……”, then he opened one of the mini-scotches with his teeth (as the other hand was holding the tray), swigged it down and then continued, “Why don’t we
by charger
22 Jul 2013 at 19:50
all go back to economy class where that afro wearing fine black african-american stewardess was working, she was one fine piece of coffee coloured toffee.
‘FUCK ME’ i screamed at bobby, is that all you can think of at a time like this,
‘NO you dumbass honky’ bobby shouted back at me
(its got me fucked why we were screaming and shouting, as it wasnt that loud in the cockpit)
bobby continued ‘we need to go down and lube her up and all squeeze into her wet vag. you know all they find after a plane crash is the BLACK BOX
‘LETS GO’ he said.
we all started to head down the aisle to economy, when ………..
by ulivergan
22 Jul 2013 at 20:00
Bobby noticed the first class alcohol cabinet. “Whoooo there boy” he said. “How long ‘till this plane crashes? You see I just basically just sing funky songs and bang women, so physics is not really my thing”.
“Work it out while you go and get Toffee {as she is now called}, I’ll be here doin’ some sampling”, Bobby said.
So I entered the economy section to think about altitude and impact timing as well as find Toffee when
{note to chainers: it will be sad if Bobby dies}
by charger
22 Jul 2013 at 20:10
all i could see was this MASSIVE FAT BLACK BITCH.
she was so huge she was wedged into the middle of the aisle, but her fat ass squeezed from the left to the right of the plane,
FUCK i thought, how am i going to get around this massive bitch.
she looked all sweaty and wet i thought i may be able to get a run up and slide past her, so i started to run as fast as i can.
i was at full speed and about to duck and slide, when i …………….
by ulivergan
23 Jul 2013 at 20:02
miss-judged the distance between the floor of the plane, and her….well, you know what.
I was now sliding uncontrollably towards what was potently worse than a fiery air crash.
Then, in what seemed like an act of god, a hand flicked out from one of the economy class passengers seats and I grabbed it.
by charger
23 Jul 2013 at 20:09
the hand pulled me around and flung me straight into the FAT BLACK CHICKS SNATCH.
i was doing such a speed when i hit the black vag i just slide right in.
it was very cramped and tight in that black hole, and all the sudden i heard a cough, then a sneeze, then fuck me, it was an echo.
helllloooooooooo i called out.
through this tightly packed cavern i heard my self echoing along the chamber
hellooooo hellooooo hellooooo’
then i heard something so scary.
i heard a…………………………..
by ulivergan
23 Jul 2013 at 20:33
smurf. It was horny-ilovefatblackchicks-smurf.
No way, I thought!
“Yo!, what’s up with ya white ass mo-fo”, said wanabeblack-smurf. “ya trin’ to cut into my action?”, he demanded.
“Calm down fucknut smurf”, I said. “What the fuck are you doing in here anyaways??”, I asked.
bluecomeblack-smurg said
by charger
23 Jul 2013 at 21:49
we are all here honky,
me ( bluecomeback smurf )
horny-ilovefatchicks smurf and wannabeblack smurf.
we are the smurfs,
drunk fuckers that know too much about aeroplanes call us smurgs.
i was standing there pondering when bluecomeblack smurf reached out and grabbed my…………………..
by God
25 Jul 2013 at 21:10
Ben Lexcen Skatewing…(you see I was still holding it all this time).
{side note: smurf = smurf……smurf + alcohol = smurg….simple}
“Hey, bluecomeblack-horny-ilovefatechicks-skatewingsteeler-smurf, what ya want with my skatewing”, I said. “We are inside a vaginga, and outside the vagina we have a boeing / airbus going down”, “will we be protected?”, I asked
by charger
25 Jul 2013 at 21:18
;oh im smurfed if i know’
snapped the angry little blue-black midget.
i just want your skateboard.
you see the black in me is compelling me to steal stuff.
right then and there i new i had dealt with these fuckers before.
i reached around in the murky darkness to find something to hit the prick with,
and all the sudden i felt a big ………