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Went to the optometrist today. He told me I’m colour blind. Now I’m worried some of my mates could be Aboriginal. If you are, delete my number and fuck-off!

Q: What’s funnier than a dead Abo?

A: A dead Abo in a clown suit

Q: What do you call an Abo  driving off a cliff in a mini-van?

A: A waste, you could fit plenty more in the back

I was going through a couple of magazines the other day at the Aboriginal shelter. I was really enjoying myself until the weapon jammed.

Dear Oprah,

I’m fifteen, pregnant and my parents don’t know. They haven’t met my boyfriend. He’s bisexual, married and 20 years older than me. He deals drugs and carries a gun. He lives in a squa, is just out of jail and he likes animal porn. My problem is…how do I tell my parents he is aboriginal?

A black baby is given wings by God. He asks ‘God, does this mean I’m an angel?’ God laughs and replies ‘Of course not you silly black turd…..your a fly!’

Now that PM Kevin Rudd has said sorry to the Stolen Generation, the Aboriginal Union is holding a meeting tomorrow to decide whether to end their 220 year strike and return to work.

I saw a boat load of Aboriginal’s drowning today, so I thought I’d better do the right thing and notify emergency services. I hope they found them or I’ve just wasted a stamp!

An aboriginal kid comes home from school and tells his mum “Mum I’ve got the biggest penis in the 3rd grade, is that because im black?” She replies “No you Fuckwit, it’s because you’re 19.”

Buckle up! Today’s Abo jokes are:

(1) Q. What do you call 1000 Abo’s in a fast flowing river?

A. Blackcurrant.

(2) Q. Whats the difference between an Abo & a park bench?

A. A park bench can support a family.

(3) Q. Why are aspirins white?

A. Because they work.

(4) Q. What do you call a Abo with a stutter?

A. Cocoon.

(5) Q. What do you call a hundred black men in a field?

A. The good old days.

I just signed my dog up for Centrelink payments. He should be eligible. He’s black, lazy, can’t speak english and has no fucking idea who his father is!

I bought one of those new 3D TV’s, its so realistic. I dozed off last night watching a documentary about Aborigines and when I woke up, my wallet was gone.

I caught  this Abo trying to pick the boot lock on my car. So I slapped the cunt and said “don’t fucking do that! you’re in there for a fucking reason”.

On Sunday Robbie Kenevil will attempt to jump 1000 Abo’s with this D-9 cat. I have an extra ticket if you want to come?

90% of men will tell you that the birth of thier 1st child is the greatest thing to ever witness…..obviously they’ve never seen a coon get hit by a road train!

4 people on a train, an Australian bloke, an Abo, an old lady, and a very fit blonde with extraordinarily large tits. They go into a tunnel and hear a very loud slap! When they come out of the tunnel the Abo is rubbing his face. The old lady thinks, ‘I bet he tried touching that blonde and got slapped’. The blonde thinks, ‘I bet he tried touching me and got the old lady instead’. The Australian thinks, ‘I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that fucking Abo again’.

Just walked down the street and saw an Abo carrying a plasma TV. I thought ‘that looks like mine’. Then I remembered, mine was at home shining my shoes.