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McTavish Bar
‘Y’know,’ said the Scotsman, ‘I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you’

‘Well,’ said the Englishman, ‘At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two!’

‘Ahhh, that’s nothing,’ said the Irishman. ‘Back home in Dublin there’s Ryan’s Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you’ve had enough drinks they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.’

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman’s claims, but he swears every word is true. ‘Well,’ said the Englishman, ‘Did this actually happen to you?’

‘Not me meself, personally, no,’ said the Irishman, ‘But it did happen to me sister.’

Angry Aussie
Angry Australian

Call Centre
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a freakin’ call centre in Afghanistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Stavros Flatley


 

 

What Not to Put on Facebook


Chopper : Deadshits



Goldfish

Fuck!


Australia Week


Morton : Mud-crab
Mudcrab

Teacher
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife
and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table
with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

Little Becky : Demolition
http://content.mediaworks.co.nz/radio/theedge/audio/beckyfromirishradiostation.mp3

Roy D Mercer : Police Chief
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3J_qB7daq4

1991 AFL Grand Final with Angry Anderson


Cops

 

Kim Jong Un

kim